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But for a draenei and a night elf, I’m proud to say, it takes considerably longer.

Our guild name, <Too Pretty To Die>, is more than just a clever Firefly-related tag. As a paladin tank and a druid healer, we can be pretty difficult to kill. We’ve been levelling exclusively in dungeons for 40 levels now, dozens upon dozens of runs through instances of increasing difficulty. In all of that time, to date, I believe we have only wiped three times.

The first was in Scarlet Monastary Cathedral, the first time we were there. We entered the actual Catheral portion and began to fight the Scarlet Crusaders inside. Suddenly, by some alchemy of misfortune, there were four or five arcane-blasting enemy mages among us, AoE-ing the entire group, and by the time I realized we were in serious trouble and I should be abandoning the dps to save myself and Leigh, it was too late, and we were all dead. After that experience, Leigh took to pulling the mobs outside the doors until we had cleared a nice section.

After that we went nearly 20 levels without dying. Sometimes we probably should have, such as when a shadow priest went running around in Zul’Farrak and turned an already-tough pull into an utter clusterfuck, with caster trolls everywhere. The priest laughed about it and told us he was really stoned, so, y’know, that was great. At least he got better after Leigh chewed him out a bit. In another ZF run, during the ziggurat fight, just about every troll at the base came after Leigh at once and very nearly took her down while I was distracted by reapplying buffs, but druids have some pretty powerful instant heals when they need them and we were okay.

In one of our first forays into the deeper parts of Blackrock Depths, Leigh stepped through a doorway and accidentally found herself surrounded by two large groups of dark iron dwarves, probably a dozen of them in total. Her health dropped like a rock. Myself, our shadow priest, and our shaman began spamming heals on Leigh, while she and a hunter attacked the dwarves. I have a very impressive mana pool for my level, and strong mana regen, but I ran out of mana, and so did our impromptu off-healers. Leigh tossed herself a couple heals of her own, I hit her with Regrowth whenever I regenned enough mana for it, and we managed to squeak out alive. I choose to believe that our prettiness is what caused the priest and the shaman to spontaneously off-heal. Or at least Leigh’s prettiness. I’m kind of a tree now.

(A pretty tree.)

Directly after the above fight, Leigh went and pulled another group while I was drinking and had my talent window up, which covered my party frames. By the time I realized we were fighting, Leigh was dead and the mobs were headed for the dps. Rebirth saved, and we still didn’t wipe. I love any excuse to use my battle-rez.

Our second wipe came in Sunken Temple when one of the dps pulled the dragons that spawn in the middle while Leigh was fighting a full group of smaller dragons and I was lagging behind in catching up from the Prophet’s room. We blame the dps.

Our final wipe came just last night in Blackrock Depths, as Leigh, emboldened by our success at pulling entire rooms earlier in the run, tried to take on all of the mobs in the Emperor’s throne room at once, at long last living up to her namesake. We made it halfway through the room before the dwarves dragged us down. Paladins. I tells ya.

We did die a couple other times in BRD, but both times we weren’t in a full group. If I recall, both times we were three-manning the place for one reason or another. An accidental two-group fight (caused when the rogue went way off from us to fight a caster and then my heal on him aggroed a second group) and then the two of us and a hunter seeing how far we could get at level 52 and wiping in the Summoner’s Tomb against the seven dwarves who were four levels above us. It took six of them joining the fight before we went down.

I don’t count either of those as true wipes. That’s fair, right? Right! I’m glad we agree.

I don’t plan on writing every time we die, but I wanted to illustrate that in most cases, we really are too pretty to die.

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Hello!

I cannot imagine what odd sequence of events led you to this page. Perhaps you were trying to find the Too Pretty For Pie blog and you made a typo; perhaps your cat jumped on your keyboard and this was the result. Either way, here you are.

This is a blog about the continuing adventures of Leighroy and Lifebloom in World of Warcraft. Leighroy is a protection paladin who tanks enemies while topping damage charts, and Lifebloom is a restoration druid who climbs on things and keeps people alive. At the time of this writing we are level 50.

Leigh and Bloom have been levelling exclusively through the new Random Dungeon system. As a tank and healer duo, it’s safe to say that we suffer no wait time. We queue up, and we go. We are unafraid in the face of large pulls. We are unstoppable in the shadow of danger. We are cleansing Azeroth of its darkest corners. And we are <Too Pretty To Die>.

I have Healbot running, but I don't actually use it. Does that make me weird?

A regular day in the office for <Too Pretty To Die>. Here we banter about imaginary flowers as Leighroy tops the damage chart and Lifebloom casts an unnecessary Regrowth. Hey, sometimes she gets bored.

And yet … we have a singular weakness.

We have to group with dps.

Leigh would, at this juncture, point out that we don’t have to group with them. If we wanted to to, we could walk to the dungeon the old fashioned way and two-man ’em. This is not an exaggeration, we could have done that all the way into our 40s. It would have been slow going, but it could have been done. We group with dps for convenience and for random loot bags.

And dps, well … sometimes dps is good. Sometimes you meet a player who knows his or her stuff, who lays down the lumber and kicks ass, who doesn’t take aggro or whine or pull mobs or just generally do everything possible to screw up the run. But other times, you meet dps players who do exactly those things, and who simply will not listen when you suggest that perhaps they should alter their strategy.

And that’s why we needed a blog.

We need to tell you the stories. The stories about the people we meet in our random dungeon adventures, and the sometimes horrible things they do. Maybe you’ll learn something. Maybe you’ll see us talking about a player you know. Maybe you’ll just get a laugh as you recognize a situation you’ve been in yourself.

The posts to follow this will include excerpts from our previous misadventures, a taste of the horrors we’ve bravely fought through and tales of some of the dps we’ve found ourselves grouped with.

There’s just one thing to remember: no matter how bad the dps, we are just too pretty for Blizzard to let us die.

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