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aka Leigh and Bloom versus the Incredible Huntard

The other night we found ourselves, as we often do find ourselves at this level, in Utgarde Keep yet again. Ingvar the Plunderer just can’t get enough of dying painfully at our hands, being reborn as an undead bastard, and dying again, so we always oblige him.

In this group was Foragebeard, a hunter from Ravencrest, to whom I took something of an immediate dislike because he seemed to be under the impression that he was the greatest hunter the world had ever seen. Nay, the greatest player, even. He began to dispense class advice about all the other classes in the group, including telling Leigh that she should respec to get Seal of Command now (nevermind the fact that in order to get it at 70 she’d have to give up Hammer of the Righteous, nor the fact that she has no threat problems whatsoever, nor the fact that she still tops the damage chart 98% of the time).

Foragebeard bragged about his 80 Death Knight, and the DK in our group decided Foragebeard was just the greatest. This intrepid hunter told Leigh that he could pull for her using Misdirection. She said he was welcome to, but that she did have Avenger’s Shield and was going to keep pulling her own stuff anyway.

The hunter’s first sign of critical failure came just after the first boss, when he spotted a patrolling enemy coming further down the hall while we were clearing up some ghoul trash. He misdirected it onto her, and then, of course, kept attacking it. The mob never even made it to Leigh, because the threat switched back to the hunter when it was still about 15 yards away, and Leigh had no idea that he was trying to pull a mob onto her. The mob spanked him a little before she pulled it off.

She told him maybe he shouldn’t misdirect, since obviously he wasn’t making it work. He defended his precious skill, extolling the virtues of misdirection.  The DK also defended him, saying he must have taken aggro because his dps was just too leet. We kind of ignored them, so the hunter began to proclaim several times that he was not a huntard. We didn’t really care, we just kept clearing the dungeon.

But when we reached Ingvar at the end, he decided to prove once and for all just how non-huntarded he was, determining to rescue his misdirection’s reputation, not realizing that the harder true huntards try, the harder they fail.

Leigh, as she always does before a boss, hit a ready check. The death knight was not ready, so she didn’t pull. The hunter, however, apparently believing that if he was ready then everyone else must be as well, ran ahead and misdirected Ingvar onto Leigh.

She was turned around to see what the unready DK was up to and was in the process of asking him to let her know when he was good to go, when suddenly Ingvar yells and comes charging across the area at her, catching her completely unprepared and out of her preferred position. The hunter, of course, once again continued attacking the boss after his misdirect wore off (four seconds is shorter than you think!), and pulled the boss onto himself as our warlock also started attacking.

The hunter feigned death, sending Ingvar charging in another direction after the warlock while Leigh swore and tried to figure out just what the fuck was going on here and why the boss was running around in our midst when she hadn’t pulled it and when everyone wasn’t even ready yet. She yoinked Ingvar off the warlock and got him positioned.

The boss fight proceeded and I refused to heal the hunter who had started this mess, figuring that the 20% health he had left was his own damn fault. He once again started shouting that he wasn’t a huntard. Then he didn’t break line of sight on the roar, and he died. His DK worshipper stood in a smash and also died. It was great, we three-manned it smoothly from there on out.

This is why we don’t let dps have nice things.

Moral: Please don’t misdirect mobs onto a tank who has no idea you’re doing so. Not only is it stupid, it’s like to get your face smushed. And when you’re not the one controlling the ready check, never assume that everyone hit Yes. Never ever.


aka Leigh and Bloom versus the Aggromaniac

I have a reasonable suggestion. It’s simple, too. Before a person can be qualified to be a dps character in a five-man dungeon, first they should be forced to play a tank in a group with bad dps. I feel that this experience, the frustration at seeing firsthand all the things dps players sometimes do to make a tank’s life hard, would make them a better damage-dealer in group situations.

Leigh and I hit up Shadow Labyrinth a few days back, and one of our dps members was a hunter who’s name I forget. She had pretty decent dps, her raw numbers were right around Leigh’s. But she was absolutely terrible when it came to aggro.

The hunter consistently pulled aggro off Leigh, to the point where I checked my Recount to make sure she wasn’t using some kind of bizarre rotation that contained Distracting Shot. This was not a problem of Leigh’s. She was tanking like she always does, doing high dps and damage, but the hunter’s dps choices were as poor as they could be.

She would target the enemies that had the least threat on them from Leigh, the one furthest down her target list, and then unload. I suspect she liked bragging about taking aggro from the tank, and she did nothing to dissuade me from that theory — the hunter talked about how great her dps was, and how the tank should be doing better, and how she couldn’t help taking aggro, it wasn’t her fault, her dps was just so high.

(For the record, it was about 750, with Leigh at 730.)

I tried to explain to her that threat doesn’t work like that. Leigh, under the effect of Righteous Fury, does threat at a much, much greater level than her actual dps indicates (and her actual dps is not low). In order for anyone to take aggro from her, they have to be playing very poorly, or have some kind of a death wish.

There’s really no excuse for this. Even if your single target dps is three times the tank’s, then guess what? Dial back your attacks, do some more auto attacks instead of popping your cooldowns and going for broke. The run will be better with a little less overall damage than it will be if everyone is constantly trying to save your aggro-whoring ass.

She clearly didn’t believe me, or just wanted to keep making a fuss, because on the ogre boss in Shadow Labs, she constantly unloaded on the boss before Leigh could get back onto it after a mind control session, forcing Leigh to taunt.

So, after enough of this, Leigh didn’t taunt. I didn’t heal. The hunter died. The rest of the boss fight went so much more smoothly.

To illustrate my aggro point, a little later we were in Utgarde Keep with a level 80 death knight. I have no idea what he was doing there, but there he was. He was raid geared and did 3000 dps. This death knight … did not take aggro. Not once. Even though his dps was more than three times higher than Leigh’s.

Because you see, there’s a little something called aggro management. Dps should have to pass a test on it before they’re given a license. Seriously. We’ve gone over it before. Attack the tank’s target, be careful with your AoE, focus fire, lay off or temporarily switch targets if you see the mob’s threat number getting too high. This is not rocket science, people.

Moral: If you don’t manage your aggro, the tank has every right to let you die. I don’t care how awesome you think you are or how big your numbers are — if you’re making things tougher on the group, then you are not impressing me. And last time I checked, dead hunters do zero damage per second.

aka Leigh and Bloom versus the DPS Who Really Ought To Be Ashamed Of Themselves By Now

You know who you are. You roll into a dungeon, the big, strong dps, the damage dealers, the ones who put up the big numbers and make the bad guys fall down. And then suddenly the tank steamrolls the whole dungeon, leaves you in the dust, and puts you to absolute shame.

This is understandable sometimes at low levels, especially with paladin tanks. But Leighroy does this regularly even still, at level 65. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been generally getting better. She typically only does about 35-40% of the group’s damage these days, a handful of people can beat her pure dps score (though very, very few beat her overall damage), and the trend has been positive. But every once in a while …

Every once in a while, this happens. This recount was recorded during an Underbog run, and no, I didn’t rig it by not resetting. That’s the full run, start to finish.

What we have right here is a tank doing 52% of the group’s damage while simultaneously blowing their dps out of the water, at level 65. That sort of thing really shouldn’t happen anymore. I know, I know, two of them are warriors, but we’ve seen a warrior doing 650 dps — they are capable.

I need to add that we’re not calling out the people in that recount. They were a fairly friendly bunch, and fine enough to group with. We tend to get chatty with groups we like, whereas when we don’t like a group, all the conversation is in guild chat where they can’t see it, and this was definitely a chatty group.

Moral: How we long for the day when there will be three damage dealers on top of the charts, with Leigh in fourth. I’m not convinced it will ever happen. We still haven’t even hit two yet, and one is such a rare happenstance that we take note of it and cheer.

aka Leigh and Bloom versus the Solo Wonders

One truth of World of Warcraft, especially in these days of increased experience gain, heirlooms, and easier access to gear, is that every spec of every class can safely solo to 80, with some specs having a faster time of it than others. Playing solo is pretty simple — you take aim at something, you kill it, you run if there are too many of them.

But being a good solo player and being a good group player are two very different things. In a group you have to take into account the abilities and roles of everyone in the party, think about how they can work together, and do things properly so that everyone survives and progresses smoothly and efficiently. At least, that’s the theory. If you are like far too many of the dps we’ve encountered, you can also simply play like you’re by yourself, ignore all the helpful things you can do for a group, roll on your gear and go home. But then you get mean blog posts made about you.

The other night we were in Lower Blackrock Spire for the first time, and one of our group members was a retribution paladin (Leigh, you’ll have to put in his name if you can, I think you ignored him for us). He did pretty decent dps, so he obviously knew the straight up damage-causing mechanics of his class and spec, but the more we played with him, the more we realized he was secretly a bad dps player.  You know, his dps wasn’t even that good, so he must have been doing SOMETHING wrong.  Besides the obvious, of course.

For starters, he would constantly go after the targets Leigh had the least aggro on, the one that her Avenger’s Shield didn’t hit, the one she wasn’t targeting. Perhaps he just loved the sight of aggro going to him for a moment and forcing Leigh to taunt off him. Maybe that made him feel like a big boy, I don’t know. At one point I watched him jump into a group of un-pulled spiders and consecrate them when the rest of us were still looting the last group of spiders. I know you’re a paladin and super-tough and all, but saving your ass from spiders starts to feel like a waste of my mana after awhile.

He also had no concept of debuffs and cleansing. The trolls in LBRS can use a magic attack to turn the tank into a frog, which clears aggro and turns the trolls loose on the rest of the group for a fair chunk of time. This is a fairly bad thing to have happen, because there are trolls running everywhere, other trolls can be pulled by accident, the healer takes a lot of the heat, and everyone is losing health at the same time. If only there were someone else in the group who could cleanse magical effects! Like another paladin. Oh, that’s right, there was.

We specifically asked him to cleanse the tank when she was turned into a frog, but he ignored us. Maybe he didn’t even know he had such an ability, and wasn’t about to take our word for it.

(A funny side effect is that every time Leigh chewed him out for something, be it taking aggro or not cleansing, the boomkin in our group thought she was talking to him, and this led to the oddest disassociated conversations. He also thought her taunt macro yell was directed at him, and had to be reassured several times that this was not the case.)

This all got me thinking about the many cases I’ve seen where people just don’t seem to understand how their class/spec fits into a group. So it’s Lesson Time with Lifebloom.

Buffs: If you have a helpful buff, give it to people. This is so simple a concept I shouldn’t even have to say it, but anyone who’s been in a pre-80 random group probably knows what I’m talking about. Mages who don’t give Arcane Intellect, paladins who don’t give blessings, shamans who don’t drop totems, we’ve seen it all. I really shouldn’t have to ask you for a buff.

Cleansing: I understand that this one is trickier. If you play with the default UI, chances are you have no idea when anyone other than yourself is debuffed, and chances are even better that you can’t be arsed to search through your quickbars to find your debuff-removal ability. But there are some nasty debuffs out there, and the faster we get them off the group, the faster we’ll progress and the better we’ll do. Personally I recommend grabbing Decursive, a simple and excellent cleansing tool.

A sound will play when anyone in your group gets a debuff that you can cleanse, and then all you have to do is click their coloured box in the Decursive frame and wham, you’ve cured them, and you don’t even have to physically switch targets to do it. It’s really that simple. The most complicated it gets is when you have two decursing abilities, such as a druid and a priest have, and then you have to know whether to right-click the box or left-click it. Your party will thank you. Well, okay, that’s a lie. Your party probably won’t even notice. But you’ll all do better, trust me.

Crowd Control: I know this isn’t half as important as it used to be, back in the mists of time, but you should still know how to do it just in case. Tanks these days can hold aggro against legions of enemies, but crowd control can be the difference between victory and a wipe during hard pulls or when shit just plain goes wrong.

Mages, you can polymorph things, this is an incredibly useful and powerful ability that can save your ass. I know, the dps or the tank will probably break your cc, but that’s their fault.  You can always yell at them if they were the ones who told you to CC. :) Druids, you can root your enemies for a short period of time (I had to do this the other day when I was the only person still alive and a mob interrupted my rezzing, so that I could stand clear and get a battle rez off on Leigh). The list goes on and on — just about every class can do something. Learn what it is, and practice it for when things go bad.

Focus Fire: AoE is king of the damage game right now, but not every class has it for every situation when levelling. Unless a kill order has been established or is generally recognized (ie. kill the healer first), you should start by attacking the same target the tank is. Tanks will target-switch (at least warriors will), but the first enemy they smash is the one they’re going to have the most threat on to start the fight. If everyone attacks that enemy first, it’ll be dead by the time the tank has good threat on everything, and everyone goes home happy. If you just pick a random target, or even worse if you go after the target the tank has the least threat on, then the fights last longer and sometimes you get a mob in your face. And if you ever complain about the tank’s threat when your target selection is moronic, expect the tank to hate your stupid ass.  A good way to achieve this is to press F-F, the default hotkey for Assist.  Generally speaking, everything will be looking at the tank initially–assisting once will target the tank, assisting again will target what the tank is targeting.  Problem solved!

Know Your Threat: I don’t mean that every dps should have Omen running. It’d be handy, but is not required. What I mean is that every class has abilities that do more or less threat than others, and you should not start out with your big guns. For classes with tanking abilities, such as warriors and death knights, don’t open with your high threat abilities. Feel free to sling some of them around once the tank has a comfortable lead, but don’t open with them, please. Mages, don’t start charging your pyroblast while the tank is still running in. AoE classes, let the tank get things in hand before you open up with your blizzard or your volley or your whatever. Unless the tank is completely incompetent, it’s your own fault for taking aggro, and a meaner healer than me would let you die for it just out of principle.

Some things to remember: Your portrait will have a yellow glow when you’re climbing a mob’s threat table.  It will proceed to orange, and eventually red–when it gets to red, you already have aggro.  At that point, I might throw you Righteous Defense, but if the healer also has a red portrait, Imma throw it on Bloom first, so you might be SOL.

Know Your Role: For the love of God, let the tank pull. I know hunters used to do it sometimes, but those days are over, except for some boss misdirects. Everything is so much better when the tank doesn’t have to taunt off you before they even have a chance to establish threat. If the healer is in trouble and the tank can’t get there, pull the mob to yourself, especially if you wear mail or plate. If you have a higher armor class than someone being attacked, try to pull the mob to yourself instead, you’re easier to heal. If you have a mob on you, go to the tank. Do not run away.  You know what, even on my mage, if something’s going after the healer, I usually do something to take it off.  Sure, I usually DIE in the process, but it’s better than something chewing on the healer and them having to try to heal themselves, and everyone else.

Also, hunters don’t get misdirection until 70, if I remember correctly.  I don’t want to see them frigging pulling things unless they have swirlies on their heads.  Kapish?

Line of Sight: If you ever get a caster on you, for whatever reason, find a way to break line of sight (or spell distance if all else fails) so that it has to run toward you and hopefully also toward your group. Bringing casters together is the key to destroying their squishy butts. Leaving them at range is the key to bringing too many adds into the battle.

Miscellaneous: Warlocks, soulstone the healer. Do you know how many warlocks I’ve seen soulstoning themselves in a five-man? What the goddamn hell is wrong with you? If you die, then either the healer and tank are already dead and it’s a wipe in which case your ability to pop back to life does no one any good, or else you pulled aggro and the party will do just fine without you until combat is over and they can rez you normally. Do not waste your soulstone on yourself in a group, please.

Hunters, death knights, put your pets on passive. Don’t even put them on defensive, go straight to passive, do not pass go, do not collect $200. A pet that goes after unpulled mobs or runs off after a caster that poked it is a pet that everyone hates. You must be in control of what your pet is doing. Hot-key his key abilities and his attack command, and keep him where you want him, doing what you want him to do.

Rogues:  Yes, you’re sneaky.  We get it.  That doesn’t mean that mobs can’t see you when you get too close, and it doesn’t mean people won’t follow you.  Also (though this hasn’t happened in a while), picking pockets is NOT, contrary to popular belief, more important than poking things with daggers.

Shamans: We love your totems.  We do not so much love when they snuggle up to other mobs.  But considering that we barely get shamans who use totems in the first place, we WILL forgive you. (Especially if you let Lifebloom snuggle up to the mana spring totem too. Oh, sweet mana spring.)

Moral: If you put some effort into playing your class better, logic dictates that you won’t be quite so bad at it.

aka Leigh and Bloom versus the Entire Group By The End Gorrammit Why Do You All Suck So Much?

Leigh and I have been getting into some of the more serious five-man old-school content lately, and the increased need to not be a dumbass has begun to widen the gulf between good players and bad players. Good players thrive in this stuff. The tank holds aggro, the dps pound away and put up big numbers, the healer gets distracted by butterflies and barely manages to save everyone. That’s how it works, people.

But bad players stay bad, and start to look worse in comparison. We’ve had a few of them lately, including a duo of dastardly ninjas.

A Dire Maul East run found us with a death knight, a shaman, and a hunter. This was our first encounter with a death knight, and we were prepared to be amazed. Leigh readied her taunt for when he, in his Outland-level blue gear, would surely pull aggro. It … didn’t really turn out like that. The death knight did a whopping 150 dps (Leigh does about 350, good dps are rocking 400+, and the best mages are flirting with 700).

This was surprising, but not that big an issue. We can deal with low numbers, it just means longer fights. But the death knight took a turn for the funny when it was revealed that every time Leigh used her taunt macro, which shouts for enemies to get the fuck off her dps, the death knight thought she was yelling at him. He then began to cause troubles by having his ghoul pet on aggressive, which in a place as tightly packed as Dire Maul is a Bad Goddamn Idea.

We explained to him that he wasn’t being yelled at, then told him to put his pet on passive. He left the group. No one tells death knights what to do! I’m not going to post his name though, because his only real crime was ignorance and leaving the group.

After his departure, we were left with two other dps who seemed to be okay folk — Cleenex the shaman, from Alexstraza, and Caylana the hunter, from Spinebreaker. I’ve printed their names for a reason.

In the forested courtyard in Dire Maul East, destiny struck. Literally. We got the epic two-handed sword, Destiny, one of the original epic two-handers in the game. According to Thottbot this still auctions for 300 gold. Leigh and I, being civilized human beings, rolled greed. Both the shaman (who cannot equip swords) and the hunter (who would find the strength proc useless) rolled need. The shaman won.

Well, whatever, we thought. We were near the end, they were assholes, it’s not like we really need the money. But there was still the principle of the thing, so I informed them that this made them ninjas, and that they were lucky they had a nice tank and healer who would overlook this.

They both responded that they knew that this made them ninjas, and said that they wouldn’t normally have done it.

As Leigh then put it, “Oh, so you’ll only fuck over good tanks and healers?”

We then dropped group and stranded them. We know they didn’t finish the dungeon because when we requeued we got the hunter again for a fresh run, and made her leave the group because we refused to run with her. They’re both on our ignore list now. We hope they enjoy their longer queues. And I hope the shaman chokes on his gold.

Moral: I think we already went over this one. Don’t be a ninja. Unless you want to sit all alone counting your shiny loot when no one will play with you anymore. Being a gracious party member and rolling properly will not only help make you friends, it’s also totally good for your karma.

aka Leigh and Bloom versus the Angry Mage Tank

A couple nights ago we found ourselves in Sunken Temple for the last time ever. After approximately a thousand runs through the place in our late 40s and early 50s, this came as something of a relief — our party members constantly manage to get lost in the place. But before we could truly escape, we had to have one last showdown with a terrible dps.

The player in question is Pheen, a mage from the Stormreaver server. Things went downhill in a hurry, as Pheen found himself with two imps on him while Leigh was tanking a group of mobs further down a passageway.

A mage faced with this situation has a few options. One, he can frost nova the mobs and either back up to kill them or run to the tank. Two, he can use his blink spell to escape and run to the tank. Three, he can realize there’s a healer right there with him and that he can burn the two little imps down without a problem. Or four, he can immediately begin spewing insults and then refuse to stop for the rest of the run. Three guesses which option is Pheen’s favourite.

Pheen wasted no time, even while killing the imps safely with a healer right there in range, to start calling Leighroy a retard and a bad tank. Because obviously, you know, she should have psychically known that he was under attack way back there and should have dropped all her tanking in order to rush back and save him from the two little imps, arriving at the same time as he’d already killed them anyway. Obviously.

Unable to get over his sudden burning rage, Pheen continued to insult Leigh, including, bizarrely, taking a dig at her spelling, which is hilarious because a) she types better than 99.9% of the game population and b) well, just wait till we get to the screenshot below.

Taking matters into his own little gnome hands, Pheen began pulling mobs and attempting to mage-tank. Leigh ignored him and moved on to other enemies when he pulled some, further fuelling his anger. I told him that I wouldn’t heal him if he was pulling mobs, which turned his anger toward me. He ice blocked, saving himself and putting all of his aggro onto me, because of healing threat. A tree druid healing herself is pretty hard to kill though. So, y’know, nice try asshole.

We jumped down into the dragons and Pheen took some more damage. I kept my eye on his health and rescued him before he died. He jumped all over me, saying that druids were terrible healers and I was the reason why. Our boomkin told him to stick a sock in it, to which Pheen replied that he should “stfu and waddle away”.

Figuring that we had mined him enough for blog material, and deciding that he had to go now that he was turning his insults on other players, I prepared to kick him from the group as soon as our current combat was over. I’m glad I didn’t manage to do it, because Pheen then delivered a tremendous speech:

Pheen gives a stirring farewell speech, so insightful and cutting that everyone was instantly ashamed that we hadn't pampered his ass all run long.

Click the picture and give that a read. Seriously. My friends, that is some epic buffoonery right there. If any of you, ever, for whatever reason, feel the urge to say something like this to a group of people, remember this post and hesitate. Pheen left the group, and we spent the rest of the run laughing about this.

My only regret is that I didn’t get to say “No one insults mah boomkin” and then kick his ass.

So long, Sunken Temple. Your twisted passageways gave us so many interesting groupmates.

Moral: Take some responsibility for your own play. If you blame everything on others and act like an enormous asshole, the tank won’t save you, the healer won’t heal you, and you’ll be all alone, with no one listening to your endless bitching. And the gameplay-wise lesson is that you should take mobs to the tank. Never expect the tank to come to you; sometimes they will if they can, but tanks don’t look at party health bars a lot because that’s not their job, they probably have no idea you’re under attack. If you have to lose an ounce of dps to bring your mob over to the tank so you can have your life saved, well boo hoo. Chances are good it’s your own fault that something is attacking you anyway.

Almost as often as we run with TERRIBLE dps, we run with good ones.  Often, we forget to take screenshots because nothing bad has happened. 

This time, I made a point of it! 

Psychedelia of Hellscream, with his DPS of Awesome

It’s not often my damage output is approached, nevermind beaten, by anyone.  It’s even less likely that the person beating me isn’t a complete jerk.  However, we had a lot of fun last night in Blackrock DepthsThe DPS were nice, competent, and in one case, completely badass. 

After killing High Interrogator Gerstahn, who is required for completion of the random (and acquisition of a shiny bag of loots), I asked if anyone wanted to carry on, and lead them to Bael’GarI’d had a hunch that, all this time, we had been doing the instance backwards. 

Turns out I was right!  We hit Bael’Gar first, ended up having to kill some spectators, jumped in the Ring of Law, and carried on our merry way for about 45 minutes in total.  We made it to Emperor Dagran Thaurissan, which Bloom and I have accomplished once before, but never with such ease as this particular run.  And with Bloom and my levels being the highest in the group, the Emperor must have been red to at least two of our teammates. 

Thanks to a group of polite, cautious, knowledgeable players, and Psychedelia’s sick dps, we beat BRD easily.  <3!

aka Leigh and Bloom vs the Sabotaging Hunter.

It was a Sunken Temple run like any other…I weaved my way through the instance, guiding my party members with my mad leet directional skills.  We had killed all of the trolls on the upper level and had descended to the lower, smushing dragons as we went.  On our way to Jammal’an the Prophet, one of my teammates posed a question: would we be killing Atal’alarion?

Normally, we skip this boss–generally speaking, no one wants to bother going into the basement of an already very long dungeon to kill a boss that needs to be unlocked with a puzzle, and whose loot table is rather small.  I had killed him once before in the possibly hundreds of times Bloom and I had been to this instance.  But our peer needed him for a quest, so we killed the Prophet and obliged him.

(I may have possibly pulled a fail move and jumped down from the middle, but shh, don’t tell anyone!)

At any rate, we got down there and began clearing out trash, which was going pretty well, but our hunter, a charming individual named Porktits, was being impatient and pulling groups by herself.  I asked her to stop, and promptly set her waiting at one of the statues to keep her out of trouble.

After I had carried on and set two more people at statues, I can only assume it dawned on her what I had done.  Either that, or she made a mistake and was so startled that she only typed the first two letters of an expletive…

She said, “fu” in party chat, to which I responded with, “?”

Seconds later, someone exclaimed that she had cast a volley into a group on the second level, and that angry mobs were running up to visit us.

I assumed the worst of her.

“Drop group.” I told Bloom in guild chat.

She and I both did so, and were saved from a gruesome death at the hands of undead tree things.  Yay!

Moral: Uh, when instances are set up to teleport you out upon leaving the group, it’s hard to fuck people over by pulling mobs onto them.  So an idea is, to not try it.  Everyone will be happier, and will have more experience and fewer repair bills, if you don’t try to fuck everyone over.

aka Leigh and Bloom vs the Tremendously Epic Shaman.

I appreciate good gear as much as the next player…but I also appreciate modesty.

When we first entered Inner Mauradon with Shammyshock (I’ll confirm the server later), he wasted no time before linking all of his gear, boasting, and running off to agro things by himself.

My first thought was, “God, I need to beat his dps…” and my second thought was, “I really hope he dies.”

As we carried on through this short instance, Shammyshock continued to gloat.  Eventually, I informed him that he was ridiculously annoying.  He responded with something like, “It’s just because I’m better than all of you put together!”

We had to endure him through LandslideDuring the trash leading up to Princess Theradras, he became slightly more bold and arrogant, and Lifebloom suggested he demonstrate his prowess by taking down the next two earth elementals by himself.  He began, but the hunter in our group accidentally pulled one off, and I tanked it.

He was rather pleased with his accomplishment, but Bloom wasn’t impressed.  She said, “The hunter pulled one off you!  You should take the next group.”

I said in guild chat, “30 seconds til we can boot him!”

He stood up from drinking, prepared to run in…And I initiated a vote to kick him, which obviously passed.

Our Princess kill was mercifully quiet.  Silence, in this case, is Epic.

In the end, I didn’t beat him in DPS, nor did he die…but he beat me by very little, a percent or less if I remember correctly, and I was in blues, greens, and heirloom gear.  I think that speaks volumes about his skill level.

Moral: Just because you have high DPS does not necessarily mean that people will put up with your bullshit, and just because you’re over-geared does not necessarily mean that you’re a good player.

aka Leigh and Bloom versus the Whiniest Warrior

The next tale launches us ahead several levels. Remarkably, we managed to get through Cathedral and Uldaman without any memorable dps stories (though more on a Cathedral incident in a future post related to wipes). In this latest installment we find our heroes trapped in the bowels of Maraudon (orange side) with the whiniest warrior ever.

Leigh will be able to supply me with this warrior’s name later, but first let me paint you a bit of a background.

EDIT: the warrior in question is Galvatorix, from the Hellscream server.

Leigh and Bloom occasionally indulge in a few mild in-character roleplaying elements. I am more guilty of this than she, but one of hers comes in the form of the macro she has attached to her Hand of Reckoning taunt, a paladin tank staple whenever dps pulls a mob or there’s something on the healer or the mage opens with a pyroblast on the wrong target, et cetera. When Leigh hits this button to save your ungrateful ass, she /yells at the mob to get the fuck off her dps. The mobs listen. Wouldn’t you?

The fury warrior in our group didn’t like this. Not because he found the concept of cursing offensive, but because having a /yell on his chat box annoyed him. He complained about it for a few pulls and then told her to stop it. I told him that we didn’t know if we liked him enough to want to do that.

A couple pulls later we found ourselves at Noxxion, the poison elemental boss. He drops a useless nature resist trinket most of the time (as an aside, once we had a shaman roll need on that trinket because it could cure poison on use with a five minute cooldown; he then defended his choice of rolling need, until Leigh pointed out that as a shaman, he has an instant-cast poison cleansing ability of his own, and then she exposed the fact that he didn’t know how disenchanting worked, what a UI was, or why it would have been better to roll for the shard). Okaythatwasalongaside! Anyway, this time he dropped some plate bracers with 15 strength and 5 stamina.

Both Leigh and the warrior rolled need, both legitimately. Leigh won, and the warrior immediately launched into a veritable crusade of whining about how she should give it to him because it was no good for her.

She and I both defended her choice. As someone who plays a level 80 paladin tank myself, I noted that strength is an important stat. Not only does it increase her threat generation, but paladins are extremely block-based — with talents and abilities, they are often rolling around in significant time-portions of fights with a 65% or greater block chance. Strength increases the amount she blocks each time, which at this level of content extends her lifespan in a similar manner to what stamina does. It’s only at later levels when strength becomes one of those stats that you just sort of accumulate on your tanking gear without thinking about, when stamina, defense, dodge, parry, hit, and expertise take centre stage.

The whiniest warrior was not appeased. He informed us that he too had an 80 prot pally, and kept on complaining. Leigh got fed up with him and told him that he was incredibly annoying. She asked sarcastically if he was 12.

He responded, with some indignation, that he was in fact fourteen. Everyone in the group found this fairly amusing.

At this point, as his ceaseless whining refused to, well, cease, Leigh told him that she was putting him on ignore so she didn’t have to listen to him. This did not disaude him at all. He continued to berate her even though she couldn’t hear him anymore. His insults escalated in party chat, and then he stated heatedly that no one else in the group had a problem with him, only her.

In order to prove him wrong, I initiated a vote to kick him from the group. The vote passed, he was removed, and the other dps said thank you.

Moral: People DO have a problem with you. If you don’t like that, try being less brain-achingly annoying. I feel confident that would be a good first step.

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