aka Leigh and Bloom versus the Incredible Huntard

The other night we found ourselves, as we often do find ourselves at this level, in Utgarde Keep yet again. Ingvar the Plunderer just can’t get enough of dying painfully at our hands, being reborn as an undead bastard, and dying again, so we always oblige him.

In this group was Foragebeard, a hunter from Ravencrest, to whom I took something of an immediate dislike because he seemed to be under the impression that he was the greatest hunter the world had ever seen. Nay, the greatest player, even. He began to dispense class advice about all the other classes in the group, including telling Leigh that she should respec to get Seal of Command now (nevermind the fact that in order to get it at 70 she’d have to give up Hammer of the Righteous, nor the fact that she has no threat problems whatsoever, nor the fact that she still tops the damage chart 98% of the time).

Foragebeard bragged about his 80 Death Knight, and the DK in our group decided Foragebeard was just the greatest. This intrepid hunter told Leigh that he could pull for her using Misdirection. She said he was welcome to, but that she did have Avenger’s Shield and was going to keep pulling her own stuff anyway.

The hunter’s first sign of critical failure came just after the first boss, when he spotted a patrolling enemy coming further down the hall while we were clearing up some ghoul trash. He misdirected it onto her, and then, of course, kept attacking it. The mob never even made it to Leigh, because the threat switched back to the hunter when it was still about 15 yards away, and Leigh had no idea that he was trying to pull a mob onto her. The mob spanked him a little before she pulled it off.

She told him maybe he shouldn’t misdirect, since obviously he wasn’t making it work. He defended his precious skill, extolling the virtues of misdirection.  The DK also defended him, saying he must have taken aggro because his dps was just too leet. We kind of ignored them, so the hunter began to proclaim several times that he was not a huntard. We didn’t really care, we just kept clearing the dungeon.

But when we reached Ingvar at the end, he decided to prove once and for all just how non-huntarded he was, determining to rescue his misdirection’s reputation, not realizing that the harder true huntards try, the harder they fail.

Leigh, as she always does before a boss, hit a ready check. The death knight was not ready, so she didn’t pull. The hunter, however, apparently believing that if he was ready then everyone else must be as well, ran ahead and misdirected Ingvar onto Leigh.

She was turned around to see what the unready DK was up to and was in the process of asking him to let her know when he was good to go, when suddenly Ingvar yells and comes charging across the area at her, catching her completely unprepared and out of her preferred position. The hunter, of course, once again continued attacking the boss after his misdirect wore off (four seconds is shorter than you think!), and pulled the boss onto himself as our warlock also started attacking.

The hunter feigned death, sending Ingvar charging in another direction after the warlock while Leigh swore and tried to figure out just what the fuck was going on here and why the boss was running around in our midst when she hadn’t pulled it and when everyone wasn’t even ready yet. She yoinked Ingvar off the warlock and got him positioned.

The boss fight proceeded and I refused to heal the hunter who had started this mess, figuring that the 20% health he had left was his own damn fault. He once again started shouting that he wasn’t a huntard. Then he didn’t break line of sight on the roar, and he died. His DK worshipper stood in a smash and also died. It was great, we three-manned it smoothly from there on out.

This is why we don’t let dps have nice things.

Moral: Please don’t misdirect mobs onto a tank who has no idea you’re doing so. Not only is it stupid, it’s like to get your face smushed. And when you’re not the one controlling the ready check, never assume that everyone hit Yes. Never ever.